Mini Mario interviews
by Dimention
Summary: MiniMario interviews da good, da bad, an' da just plain stupid Read,review,and ask a darn question!
1. interviewee 1: Toad

Interview 1: Toad

Mini Mario (MM): Hello audience/viewers! Our first interviewee today is Toad! Please welcome him anyway you want!

_Toad walks onto the stage and sits on the floor._

Toad: …Where are the chairs? Where's the audience?

MM: 1.This is currently a low budget show. 2.The audience are the readers, because this is a fanfic. Also, because we're low budget right now, we're on the street, so passer-byers can watch.

_A wall with a 4 painted on It falls onto MM. Gadgets and gears fall out of his head._

Toad: are you okay?

MM: Ya. That happens ev'ry time someone breaks the fourth wall. Anyway, let's start the interview. Quest.1: What do the colors on your hats mean?

Toad: They help blend into the environment when we're in danger. If we're not, we use them for style.

MM: Quest.2: Ummmmm…Uhhhhh…Ahh! No. Oh! Who is the strongest of your species?

Toad: The original toad. And you're talkin' to him!

MM: Ya whatever. Time for audience /reader/passer-byer questions. Um… You! Ask Toad a question please!

Koopa: why should I?

MM: 'Cause I said please?

Koopa: Hmm… Okay! Are any toads evil? Or on ' da dark side of da uhh… whatever?

Toad: Hmm… All I know of are the Koopa Bros. that were disguised as toads.

MM: Uh-huh. Well that 's all the time we have before this road is opened, so, C ya!

MM: For those of you who didn't go back will know this: Any one who reviews will get to be part of the new part: callers! That right! Any one who reviews will get to ask a question for the next interview. But since I don't want to remember names, choose a character from 'da Mario series'. If you ask 1 question for da next 3 interviews, you'll get a free ticket to get into the audience to ask 5 questions for the next interview!

Rocky Wrench: Road opening in 6…5…4…………

MM: Oh jeez…Uh, next chappie we interview Bullet Bill! End transmi-

_Mini Mario along with the stage gets shattered into a million, million pieces by cars. _


	2. interviewee 2: Bullet Bill

Interview 2: Bullet Bill

_Toad is seen talking to Mini Mario in a colorful building with several other mini- toys._

Toad: So why am I here again? How did you go from street, to building? And why are there so many people here compared to the last interview?

MM: You ask too many questions. Any way, 1:I have this cycle called the interview cycle. Here's how it works…Interviewee Co-host Assistant Cameraman1 Cameraman2 SecurityGuard1 SecurityGuard2 SecurityGuard3 FREEDOM!

Toad: So I have to work for you for…7 INTERVIEWS?

MM: Yeah. And if you don't………………..I KIII 'OU!

Toad: …Okay.

MM: Good! 2:I forgot Mario had a theme park named after our popularity and that I could use the house I own there any way I want (e.g. Interviews). 3: They are part of the mini- series like me! They are also helping me on the interviews.

Toad: You do know with them here that you're making a big spoiler when they're s'posed to make an appearance in "Mario VS. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis" and that the theme park was also s'posed to make an appearance in the SAME GAME!

A fourth wall (4w) falls and breaks onto Toad's head which leads the saying "Breaking the fourth wall".

Toad: Owowowowowowowow!

MM: You deserved that for thinking that we were to make an appearance in a game! Ugh, anyway the crew members are…: Mini-Peach(MP)Co-Assistant; Mini-Toad(MT)Cameraman3; Mini-Koopa(MK)Cameraman4; Mini-Luigi(ML)Security4.

Toad: Uh-huh. Can we start the interview now?

MM: Yep.

MK: In 3… 2…. 1………

MM: Hello people! Today we interview Bullet Bill!

Bullet Bill (BB) zooms in through the emer. Exit doors , knocking ML down. A cannon comes out of nowhere and BB flies into it, stopping. He then pops his head out and ML pushes the cannon onto the stage.

BB: Sorry.

Toad: S'alright.

MM: Good. Now then, quest.1: I see you have arms, but no mouth, while others are the other way around. Wadadileo BB?

BB: Well, the mouth makes BBs look scarier, while arms help us glide better.

MM: Huh. Didn't know that. Now then, que-

Toad: Hey now! I wanna ask a question to! I wanna I wanna. I wanna I wanna I wanna!

MM: Alright! Jeez!

Toad: yay! Quest. 2:How come Banzai Bill Blaster Cannons are so hard to find?

BB: Well that's because they're so big and strong and powerful! And because of this, every time it shoots a Banzai, it gets pushed back. That way it won't be found. It shoots alllllllllll the way to Dark Land!

MM: Cool! Now onto que- ** (I keep getting interrupted damn it!)**

A blinking red light interrupts Mini Mario.

Toad: Hey, we have a caller!

Toad presses the light. 

MM: **sigh **Uhhh, hey there! Got a question?

Goombella: Yes I do! I'm Goombella and my question is…"Exactly what IS the good of being a Bullet Bill if you're gonna get blown up after hitting, well, anything?

BB: Well, any Bullet Bill who can survive a week shows that they have good reflexes and can get spray painted gold. In that spray paint, there are chemicals that can store the endless fuel we live on and turn it into HP, Defense, and Attack. That's also how Bombshell Bills are created.

Toad: Wicked!

MM: Well Goombella if you ask two more questions for the next interviews, you'll get a ticket to heaven! No wait, Dark Land!

MK: "Mini-Mario interviews"!

MM: Ya the place he just said. And you'll be able to ask 5 questions! And if you get 3 tickets you will be the next interviewee!

Goombella: Really? Wow! Well, bye!

The light stops blinking.

MM: Got one more question.

BB: Shoot.

MM: BANG! Heh, heh. Quest.3: What other kind of species/live weapon are your kind closest to?

BB: Bob-ombs.

MM: I assume that's 'cause you both blow up after a certain amount of time?

BB: I confirm your assumption.

MM: Well that's all the time we have for today. C ya! Next time we interview koopa!

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MM: Another late announcement! Once you pick a character you can't change. If you pick a character who's already been interviewed, you won't. If you choose a character that's already been chosen, please put a number beside it.

Toad: the cannon's fuse has been lit!

MM:**gulp**End tran-

_Bakooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!_


	3. interviewee 3: Koopa

**Interview 3: Koopa**

**In the middle of a theme park, the minis- and Toad were getting prepared for the next interview.**

MM: Toad.

Toad: Yeah?

MM: How exactly did the cannon fuse get lit?

Toad: Uhh… the other minis- did it!

Other Minis-: WHAT!!!

MM: They would never do that! Now then, tell the truth!

**Mini Mario transforms his hat into a flamethrower.**

MM: Or I'll burn your head and smoke you like a cigarette!

Passer-byers: oooooOOOOOOOOOoooooohhhhh!!!!

Toad: Uhh… Alright it was me!!! I did it! I lit the fuse! I lit it to see if the blast could destroy you!

Passer-byers and Other Minis-: **-Gasp-**

MM: … Well thank you for telling the truth. But singe you tried to destroy me, the Co-host job will be taken of the 'Interview Cycle' and be permanently given to you!!! MMMWWWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Toad: -**Gasp**- NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**-3 hours later-**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MM: You about done?

Toad: -**Sigh**- Yeah alright. -**Quiet sobbing-**

MM: Good. And a bit more good news. Every time someone reviews, or "comments" our show, we get 100$. The first 100 I used to buy a building for the interviews. The other 200 hundred I'll use to pay you guys. Happy payday!!!

Mini Mario hands an envelope to all the of workers. The Minis- get 50$ ech. Toad gets nothing. Nada. Zero. 

Toad: Hey!!! How come I got nothing?!? Nada?!? Zero?!?

**… Copycatter.**

MM: 'Cause. You just started PERMANETLY working here. An' remember? The Interviewee workers get paid by not getting killed. There. Oh, and by the way, since you're a PERMANENT interviewee worker you'll get paid by money AND by not getting me to say "I KII OU'!!!!" and then killing you.

**Toads eye starts to twitch. How do you spell twitch by the way? Hey now, I just spelled it! Twice! Yippee!!!**

Toad: -**Sigh**- Oh well, guess I'll just have to tell the princess I quit. -**Starts crying uncontrollably-**

MM: You think I would give in to what you're doing?

Toad: -**Stops**- Uhhh…………. Ya?

MM: If you didn't stop I would've.

**Toad starts crying uncontrollably again**

ML: Eh… MM?

MM: Ya?

ML: These three would like to become security guards like me.

**ML points to Mini-Yoshi (MY), Mini-Donkey Kong (MDK), and Mini-Wario (MW).**

MM: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm………….-10 minutes later- ……………………….Okay!

MP: MM, the interviewee is here.

MP points to Koopa.

MM: Ah, yes, Koopa! Now I do believe you've read the 'Interview Cycle' right?

Koopa: yessiree!

MM: Good! Now then follow me onstage and sit in the green interviewee chair.

**Koopa does what he's been told to do. Toad reluctantly goes onstage to and sits in the o****range Co-host chair. MM sits in the Red Host chair behind the blue table. Hooray for colors!**

MM: Now then, MK and MT, start us off please.

MK & MT: In 5…4….3…..

MM: Hiya ev'rybody!

Everybody watching and/or reading: Hiya Dr.Nick!

MM: Umm… Okay then! Today I'm-

Toad: WE!

MM: Oh yeah!! Today we're interviewing Koopa! Please Give him a warm welcome!

**People start throwing things that are on fire at Koopa. He takes the abuse. Whatever that is. Goes off to find a dictionary**

Toad muttering to self: Put on a happy face. Put on a happy face.

**Abuse: Blah, blah, blah… Wha? Oh! Ummm… Toad's face starts to crack under the pressure of putting on a happy face.**

Toad speaking in normal pitch: How can you take such abuse?

Koopa: Well, you se-

MM: Woah, woah, woah! Wait a minute! What makes you think YOU can ask the first question? Now I get to ask two questions.

Toad: **……..(OH YOU FU-)** Let's carryon shall we? Heh, heh.

MM: That's better. Carry on, Koopa.

Koopa: Well, you see, Bowser treats us very cruelly so all the whipping and he does to us helps us overcome pain.

**MM's eye twitches. Toad's eye twitches. ML's, MK's, MP's, MY's, MT's, MW's, and MDK's eye twitches. Everyone who's watching/reading's eye twitches. My eye twitches.**

MM: Ummmmmmmmmmmm…….. Oooooookaaaayyyyyyy. That was a little too much to hear. Now then, Quest.1: What do the colors of your species' shells mean?

Koopa: Green means stupid, Red means smart and fiery, Blue means lightweight and kindhearted (for some), yellow means strong and heavy.

MM: Quest.2: What color is your shell?

**Koopa looks at Toad, who shrugs.**

Koopa: Red.

Toad: My turn! Quest.3: why are there some good koopas, and some are bad.

Koopa: All koopas began on the Koopa Clan. When a koopa kills 50 Mushroomians, they get the choice to sign a paper that says they choose to become a Mushroomian. If they have kids, they to can stay a Mushroomian but can go to the Koopa Clan anytime they want. Why do you think all the Mushroomian suicide hotlines are owned by koopas in the Koopa Clan?

MM: Yeah, I always wondered about that. Anyw-Oh for the love of--- forget it.

**MM was interrupted by the callers machine.**

Toad: Ya! Two callers today!

**Toad attempts to press the first caller light, but MM presses it first.**

MM: Ha!

Punio: Hillo!

Koopa: Picalo!

Punio: Heh, heh, My name's Punio and I have a question. "Why are there two kinds of koopas? You know, Bowser, and his kids, and every other koopa.

Koopa: Well, the first magikoopa, who I heard was Kamek, tried a spell on the soon to be king, Morton Sr. an ordinary koopa. Since Kamek was still young and just started wizardry, the spell malfunctioned and turned Morton Sr. into what Bowser and his kids are.

Punio: Really? Cool! You just revived my wanting to learn in history!

Koopa: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MM:… Well now, Punio, if you watched/read the last interview, and read/watched when Goombella called, then you know what I'd say but don't want to.

Punio: I did. Bye!

Koopa: Picalo yo!

**The light stops blinking. Toad manages to press the second one before MM.**

Toad: Ha!

Raykura: Hi! My name's Raykura and I have a question: What do Magikoopa training courses involve?

Koopa: This isn't really a Magikoopa interview but I can still answer it with this Magikoopa training brochure. "The Magikoopa training courses include: 1. Transformation/Multiplication; 2. Geometry; 3. Finding the right wand; 4. How To Ride A Broom; 5. Defense Boosts; 6. Invisibility; 7. Attack Boosts; 8. Speed Boosts; 9. Healing; 10. Finding Your Color." The first 4 are mandatory. You need to choose ONE or ZERO of the next 5. The last one is also mandatory, but only done when you complete the other courses.

MM: Now Raykura, if you want to be interviewed, you need to choose a character from Mario. Okay?

Raykura: Okay. C ya!

**Red light stops blinking.**

MM: Next time we interview goomba. An' for those of you who chose a character, your character will be interviewed. Not you. End-

**MM gets hit with a 4w.**

Toad: -Transmission!


	4. Interviewee 4: Goomba

**Interview 4: Goomba**

**The new location of the interviews is at the edge of the theme park in a building and is close to Lemmy's Land.**

**As Koopa and MP were finishing polishing MM, MM was looking over some work stuff.**

MM: Okay then, if I get one review/comment it means 100$. Plus, now that I know that every hit equals 5$. So 'bout 62 hits times 5$ equals………………………………………………………………….

Toad: O my gosh! 310$ for Master's sake!!!

MM: Oh! Okay then, 310$ plus 100$ equals………

Toad: Oh for cr-

MM: I know! 410$! To bad we don't have that kind of money! We only have 310$ ! An' I used 200$ of it to buy our own interview building!

Everyone 'cept MM: Hooray!

MM: To bad it's at the edge of this theme park and beside Lemmy's Land.

Everyone in the building: BOOOO!!! They hate Mario! They also hate Bowser Jr.! The greatest koopaling ever!

MM: Well we wouldn't HAVE to buy a new building if the old one/MY HOME didn't BLOW UP!

**All the minis- 'cept MDK, MW, and MY glare at Toad.**

**Koopa and MP finish polishing MM.**

MP: Finished!

**MM hands MP a key to a room in Hotel Micro-Goomba**.

MM: Go into room 64 with this key at 8:00 p.m. tonight.

Koopa and Toad: EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

MM: Okay, staff meeting on the stage!

**All of the staff gets onstage**.

MM: The payday date will be at the beginning of every third interview. An example would be ev'ry the 3rd, 6th, 9th, 12th, etc. You will all get 50 coins each. That doesn't include you, Koopa. But in order to pay you guys I need 450 $ to pay you guys. Enough 'bout that, We need 1000$ toto have the minimum amount of audience members, 50. The tickets will sell for 50$. So in order to get some money I need you guys to pitch in some money.

ML: NO WAY!!!

MM: Fine! Besides that, every 5 interviews, we get 250$ for ev'ry review/comment we got from the beginning until then. Also, every 10 interviews, we get 15$ for every hit we got from the beginning until then.

Goomba: Hello? Is this the place to get interviewed?

**Everyone looks at Goomba.**

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

MM: Hi! Yes it is! Have you read the 'Interview Cycle'?

Goomba: Yes. I don't mind. It's like Bowser's dictatorship.

MM: Yeah, well I don't care. Now sit down in the interviewer's- intersection's- intercourse's- interviewee's chair!

Toad: Hee! Hee! Hee! You said intercourse!

Koopa: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!

Goomba: He did? He did! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!

MM: Yeah, whatever……Hee hee! Intercourse!

Toad, Goomba, and Koopa: Stop it! Ha ha ha!

MM: Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse! Intercourse!

Toad, Goomba, and Koopa start… uhh, what's the word… Hyperventilating! Yeah, that's the word: hyperventilating. 

MK and MT: In 5…. 4…. 3…. 2…

MM: Hello ma peeps! Today we interview Goomba!

Toad: **(At least he remembered to say 'we'!)**

MM: Okay now quest.1: Why are some goombas good, and some are bad?

Goomba: Well, all goombas started on the good side, or the Mushroom Kingdom. This is because we are just smart deformed fungus. Some of us went to the Koopa Clan because the Toads thought they were better than us.

MM thinking aloud: Racist species.

Toad: Hey! We don't think that! At least, not anymore!

Goomba: I know. That's why goombas are starting to get rebellious against Bowser. I'm considered lucky to be in this interview.

Toad: Hmm. Quest. 2: Why are some goombas Mushroomians, and some are Darklanians?

Goomba: Some of the Mushroomian goombas are the ones who took a stand for the goomba species and up to your USED-TO-BE racist species.

Toad while thinking of the story Toadsworth told him: What a grim, grim, year year that was. 1,000,000,000 toads and 500,000,000 goombas dead and off the population chart.

Goomba: I know. Anyway, the other ones are goombas sent to the MK to attack but bought a house and lived in secrecy.

MM: Quest.3: What do you think if the Koopa Clan's saying "Goombas. The underlings of the underlings."?

Goomba: That saying is the thing that made the toads become racist! Although the goombas didn't know this until the captain of the toad army, Toadsworth, told the goomba army after the bloody war.

Toad: So that's how old people know these war stories!

MM: Um, Toad? Tha- Ah, forget it.

Toad: Quest.4: ……….. I don't know what to ask. You ask something, MM!

MM: Thanks! Don't think this'll get you a raise on your salary!

Toad**:(Damn! That cost me a question!)**

MM: Quest.4: ………. I've got nothin'. Good thing we have a caller!

**As if on the letter Q, one of the caller lights starts blinking. Toad opens his mouth to ask a question, but MM presses the light first.**

Punio: Hi! It's me again!

MM: Hey! Our first second-time caller! What is up in the hood?

Punio: ….. What?

MM: Do you have a question?

Punio: Yeah, I do! My question is…why are good goombas so much stronger than bad goombas?

Goomba: You should've read Goombella's "RPG Guide: HP, Defense, and Offense". Anyway, because Bowser calls Goombas " The underlings of the underlings", the only foods we get are the dead bodies of Bowser's other minions. While the Mushroomian goombas get all the nutritious foods. That's why they have higher HP, Defense, and Offense. All in all, goombas would all be healthy if the past goombas didn't go to the Koopa Clan.

Punio: Wow!!! You just revived my wanting to learn Health!

Goomba and Koopa: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

MM: Punio, do you remember what I said last time you called?

Punio: I do. Bye!

**Light stops blinking.**

MM: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Next time **(and** **by time I mean tomorrow)** we interview Boo!

Koopa, Toad, & Goomba: BBBOOOOOO!!!!

MM:…… Hey! Did you guys notice that you guys are the only living organisms in this staff?

Koopa: You just noticed that?

MM: …… You guys already knew?

Toad: -Sigh- End trans-

MM: Hey, I get to say that!

**MM shifts his eyes left & right.**

MM: Phew. End transmission!


	5. Interviewee 5: Boo

**Interview 5: Boo**

**In the building that the last interview was in, MM was calculating the money he got every 5 interviews.**

MM: Okay now. If I got 6 reviews/comments from beginning until now, and if one review/comment gets me 250$, then 6 times 250$ equals……………..

Toad: You expected me to give you the answer, didn't you?

MM: Yeah. But it's okay I can do it myself. Umm… You know, I'm just going to open the envelope full of money now. I might be a toy/computer/robot but I was one of the rushed ones. Those minis- always seem to end up stupid.

**MM opens the envelope to find 1500$ dollars. Goomba, who was behind MM because he was spit shining MM's back, caught sight of the money.**

Goomba: **-gasp-** Can I have a fulltime job?!?

Koopa: Yeah, me to please?!?

MM: Hmm? Oh! Uhh…sure! But I'll only be able to pay you 25$ each until we get around 10000$.

Goomba & Koopa: ….. You…. Are….. A god!

MM: Oh stop!

Toad: Does this mean we'll be able to get some chairs for the audience now?

MM: Yep! We'll get some next interview

Everyone: YEAH!!!!!!

**They all jump into the air and freeze. Then some credits for SSMB start rolling. After, they fall to the ground.**

MW: …What just happened?

MM: Not sure. Let's just leave it. Now then, Koopa, Goomba, please follow me to the staff board.

Koopa: When did we get that?

MM: Last night after we interviewed Goomba.

**The three go to the staff board.**

MM: This shows what jobs are or aren't taken. You two are choosing from the 'Interview Cycle'.

**The ones that were still on the interview cycle were: Ca-**

Goomba: I choose Cameraman1.

**Hey! I was tr-**

Koopa: I choose Cameraman2.

**It's such a shame you guys can't hear me.**

MM: Okay then! Please go to MK and MT for more information.

**Dumb and Dumber did so.**

ML: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

MM: What the-! What's going on!?!?

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MM: Um, narrator?

**Wha? Oh! Um… ML was running around shrieking like a girl because the interviewee Boo was chasing him…. Oh. And MM got hit with a 4w because he spoke to the narrator.**

MM: Owowowowowowowow!

Toad: Served you right!

MM: Ugh, anyway. ML! They only chase you because you're scared of them! Stand your ground! **(I cannot believe I hired him to be my main sec. Guard!)**

ML while running: **(Stand your ground. Stand your ground! Stand your ground!!! STAND YOUR GROUND FOR MASTER'S SAKE!)**

**ML stopped and turned around. Only to be face to face with Boo.**

Boo: boo.

ML: OoooOooOooOoHH!

ML fainted. Ha! HA! AHHHHH! SPIDER! –faints- 

MM: Aeyaeyaeyaeyaey! –Sigh- Let's start the interview.

Koopa & Gommba: In 5…4….3…..2…… **(We did it!)**

MM: Hello Everyone! Today we interview Boo!

Boo: Wuacamole guacamole!

MM: Sure! Quest.1: Why did you guys always hide or cover you faces when somebody looked at you in the 16-bit ages?

Boo: Well, our kind hate seeing the livelihood because we're dead and they're not. So every time a life looks at us, we'd disappear or cover our face to muffle all death threats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Toad: ………………….Uh-huh! Well now, q-quest.2: Are boos their own species, ghosts of dead people, or both?

Boo: Well, we're both. The first boos originated from death. When magikoopas were created, some boos were made by them.

Toad: Which one are you?

Boo: I'm from death you loser!

MM: HA! HA! Here's a new program I like to call "STATS!"! Ev'rytime I interview someone from the RPG game series PM:TTYD who fights, I'll ask them their stats! So, Boo! Koopa! Goomba! What are your stats of your fav. RPG game?

Boo: 7 HP, 3 ATTACK, 0 DEFENSE.

Koopa: 4 HP, 2 ATTACK, 1 DEFENSE.

Goomba: 2 HP, 1ATTACK, 0 DEFENSE.

MM: Hm! Now then, quest.3: Does your species know who Danny Phantom a.k.a. the halfa is?

**Take that spider! Ha ha ha ha! HEY! Stop sneaking up on me! Anyway Toad hits MM for making reference to a different category and sub-category.**

Toad: Yeah! What the narrator said!…. Aww, dang it all!

**You said it! Toad gets hit with a 4w for making reference to the narrator.**

MM: Ow! Ha ha ha! Let's answer some phone calls, shall we?

**MM, Toad, and Boo all look at the callers machine. Nothing happens. They keep staring at it. Nothing happens. They keep staring at it. Toad and Boo get some wool out of nowhere and make fake beards.**

MM: OH, COME ON, DAMN IT! Why the Dark Land aren't there any callers!

Toad: Oh, well! That's to bad!

MM: -Sigh- Maybe you're right.

**A light goes on. MM presses it.**

Lakitu: Hello! I'm Lakitu and I have a question. Is it true that Boos are shy? And if so, why is this?

Boo: That kinda ties in with the first question. But anyway, since I didn't study my species very well, I only know that boos that are in Boo houses are shy of the living because the livung are usually to scared of those houses. The boos are only shy because they think the living are cool. Any others do what I answered in the first question you-

MM: Well, then! If you've watched any other of me interviews,-

Toad:** ( Our!)**

MM: You'll know what to do!

Lakitu: I have! Bye!

Light goes off.

Toad: Now then, Today's interview was sponsored by 'Kingdomwide'! "Kingdomwide is glued to your side!"

MM: Yep! And we get payed 500$ to let them sponser this interview! Which gives us a total of…. 2000$!!!!!!!! Okay, before I faint, next time we interview Shy… Shy… Guuuyy.

**MM faints. Ha! Ha! AAAAAAHHHH! MILLIPEDES! CENTIPEDES! WORMS! OH MY! –faints-**

Toad: He said Shy Guy.

Toad, Koopa, & Goomba: End transmission!


	6. Interviewee 6: Shy Guy

**Interview 6: Shy Guy**

**As audience members were getting into their seats, Toad was giving the staff their paychecks, MM was counting the money he got from the audience.**

MM: K now, lessee. 'Cause we only got 23 audience members, an audience ticket costs 50$, 23 X 50$ equals… 1150$ !

Toad: Hey! You finally got a math question right!

**Toad opens his paycheck envelope to find nothing. Sucker! I get paid 100000$ a minute. If only that were true.-Starts crying-**

Toad: MM! Where's my money!

Koopa: Yeah, mine to!

Goomba: And mine!

Boo: And mine!

MM: Wha? Oh! Right! Sorry Toad, I was in a hurry! An' as fer you three, you 2 just started permanently working as interviewee staff. You, Boo, are just an interviewee worker, not permanent. You, Toad, Goomba, and Koopa all get paid by me not killing you.

**MM hands the money to Toad.**

Boo: But I'm already dead you P$CN&!VVVVVF()BN&VH$Y!!!!!!!!!

MM: Ohhh… right! Anyway, let's start the interview.

MY: But Shy Guy's not here yet.

MM: Well that sucks. Let's just wait.

**9 hours later.**

Wiggler in seat 12: Oh, COME ON!!! I bought a ticket to see an interview!

MM: Yeah, he's right. Give me 1 one second, please!

**MM runs into the crowd. A few seconds later, he comes back carrying a Shy Guy.**

Audience: Yaaaayyyy!!!!

Shy Guy: I don't want to be interviewed!

MM: To bad!

Goomba: 5….4….3….Uhhh, what comes after 3?

Koopa: 2!

MM: Hello, Everybody!

Audience: Hi! Dr.-

MM: If you say Dr. Nick, I'll kill you.

**Audience is silent. He's just a toy! HA! HA!**

MM: 'Scuse me fer a sec.

**Uhh… hey, get away from me! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!**

Toad: Where's MM?

MM: That'll teach ya you muscle less narrator you. Ugh, anyway, today we interview Shy Guy! Mind if I call ya Shy?

Shy Guy: Nope.

MM: Okay then! Que-

Toad: Hey! You already asked him a question!

MM: To bad! I say the audience and callers ask questions for this interview!

Toad: Fine!

MM: Good! Seat 4!

Bob-omb: What do the color of your outfits mean?

Shy: Before they were just for style. Now they show what class we're in, and to sort us into the different areas in Shy Guy's Toybox.

Toad: Seat 19.

Morton Jr.: Wedding cake!

MM: … Alright, who let someone form Lemmy's Land here? Security!

**Security takes Moron Jr. and throws him out the window, landing him in Lemmy's Land. Oh, my head!**

MM: Ya want more?

**…..EEP!**

Shy Guy: Shouldn't you get hit by a 4w for speaking to and beating up the narrator?

MM: Shouldn't you?

Toad: Seat 8!

Hammer Bro: What do the classes mean?

Shy Guy: Red-common. Blue-uncommon. Yellow-uncommon. Green-very uncommon. Purple-rare. Black-very rare. White-very rare. Rainbow-legend.

MM: STATS!

Shy Guy: Too lazy to remember.

MM: I can understand that. Callers!

**Two lights start blinking on the Callers machine. MM presses the first one.**

Lakitu: Hey, Shy Guy, what's the deal with the mask? I mean, what's under it, if anything?

Shy Guy: Like our name clearly states, we are Shy Guys. We wear these masks because we are so fu- uhh… frickin' shy. And as for what's under the masks, I can't tell you. The only non-Shy Guy person who knows is Luigi. And if he tells anyone, we'll hunt him and anyone who's a copy of him down and dislodge their organs one by one.

**ML runs out of the building screaming.**

MM: Why, oh why, did I have to make him head security!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Toad: Errr… yeah. So Lakitu! Since you just asked your second question, ask one more question any other interviews, you will get a free ticket to be interviewed and get some info on any new programs by mail!

Lakitu: Weren't you s'posed to get three tickets before getting interviewed?

MM: Yeah, but I didn't like that style so this is the new style.

Lakitu: Okay! Bye!

**Light 1 stops blinking. Toad throws Shy Guy at the second blinking light, hitting it and making Shy Guy mutter words inappropriate.**

Punio: Hi! It's me again! This ones an obvious one. Are their any female Shy Guys?

Shy Guy: Yes.

**Everyone gasps. But I'm to smart to gasp. So, ummm… -Inhale suddenly in surprise- Yeah, that's good!**

Shy Guy: But they are a lot shyer than Shy Guys, so they call themselves Shy Guys. They are really called Shy Gals.

Everyone: **-Gasp-**

**-Inhale suddenly in surprise-**

Toad: Well now, Punio! You just asked your third question! That means you get to be the next interviewee!

MM: Right, living organism! You also get some info on new programs! And, You don't have to go through the 'Interview Cycle'!

Toad, Koopa, Goomba, & Boo: WHAT!

MM: Hey, I don't want to hassle my one of my first-time callers!

Punio: Wow! Thanks, MM! Bye!

**The 2nd light stops blinking. The three living organisms and dead man's ghost reluctantly agreed.**

MM: Now then! Today's interview was sponsored by 'McClown'! "To-Much-Make-Up-On! I'm Sick Of It!"

Toad: We got payed 1000$ form them! Now we've got… 2650$ !!!!!!!!!!!

**All of the staff faints. Ha- nope. Not! Again!**

Shy Guy: Hmm… End Transmission!


	7. Interviewee 7: Punio

**Interview 7: Punio**

**As the audience was settling into their seats, Toad was asking MM a question.**

Toad: Hey MM, if our last show was on July 19th, then how come we're doing this show on August 1st?

Shy Guy: Oh! I know! I know! Because it could be done!

MM: That's true, Shy Guy! But not right! The last interview and this interview are so far apart because… becaaauuuse… umm… uhh… **-10 minutes later- **… oh! 'Cause the other Minis- and I got blown to bits by Bowser a few minutes after the last interview!

Toad: Oh, yeah! What a day that was! Good thing E.Gadd was nearby or you'd never get fixed.

MM: Yeah. Hey, staff! I recently found out that this show is rated T for Teens. Since I don't wanna get in trouble with the guys who put this show on TV, let's play a game!

Staff: Oh, alright. Okay, that's cool.

MM: If you're happy and you know it, all non-robotic staff say a swear!

Toad: Crap!

Koopa: Boobies!

Goomba: Damn!

Shy Guy: Dang!

Boo: #(&(&!#!!!!!!!!!!!

MM: … All of you crap makin' staff suck. Boo wins!

Boo: Yay! What do I win?

MM: Not getting to live!

Boo: … Hooray! … I'm already used to that! Does that also mean I can swear for real now?

MM: Knock yourself out!

**Boo smashes his head with a hammer, knocking himself out.**

MM: Hooray for literalness!

MDK: Hey, have any of you guys seen the Interviewee yet?

Staff: Not sure. I haven't! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have you? No! Have yo-

MDK: Found him!

**MDK brings in Punio.**

MM: Good, I was running out of breath!

Toad: You? You don't breathe!

MM: … Shut up and get onstage!

**MM, Toad, and Punio get onstage.**

MK: In 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 99,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999, 99-

Koopa: 10, 9, skip some time, 2, 1, ACTION!

MK muttering to MT: He just interrupted me!

MM: Hello viewers of 'Mini-Mario Interviews'! Today we interview Punio!

Punio: Hiya!

MM: Duck! He knows karate moves!

**Audience and/or viewers and readers laugh. Laugh, damn it, LAUGH!**

MM: Huh? Oh! Okay anyway, Quest. 1: What species are you from?

**Punio looks at Toad, who goes all cross-eyed, sticks his tongue out and points at MM indicating MM IS stupid.**

Punio: Haven't you played Chapter 2 of PM: TTYD?

MM: What's that s'pposed to do with my question?

Punio: Okaayy… I'm from the Puni species!

MM: That answers why you're so… puny!

Toad: Quest. 2: are there more of your kind that live in other places other than the Great Boggly Tree?

Punio: Of course! Most of my kind live in large, hollow trees while others live in towns and cities.

MM: Quest. 3: What different races is your kind most compatible with?

Punio: Monty Moles. Their kinda like the guys who build our hollow trees.

Toad: Quest. 4: What is that antennae thing on your head do?

Punio: That 'thing' is like a flashlight and a bat. It helps us see in the dark and bashes enemies heads into the ground. With their skulls smashed to bits, their brains mashed like mashed potatoes. Blood gushing out of their ears and mouth. Their eyes forced out their nose as our 'thing' slices through to their other organs.

**The staff shivers. The audience shivers. I, uh… 'Shake or tremble from fear.'**

MM: Quite t-the detailed a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-answe-e-e-er.

Punio: I know. It should be able to put your show up in the T section.

MM: Oh… Okay! Time for audience questions! Seat 9!

Petuni: Hi, brother!

Punio: Hi, Petuni!

MM: Questions only, please.

**MM pulls a switch that activates a trapdoor under Petuni's seat.**

Petuni: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh……

Punio: Hey!

MM: Don't worry, the male, Hitler will care for her!

Punio: WWHHAATT!! SHE'S 9-YEARS OLD!

Petuni: You have a funny mustasche!

MM: Heh, heh, umm…

Punio pounces at MM. 

MM: G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Guards! Seize him and throw him in the Female, Hitler that trapdoor.

**They do so.**

Punio: I'm 10-years old! NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo……..

MM: T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Toad, you s-s-s-say the c-c-c-closing s-s-s-s-statement. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm too s-s-shaken up.

Toad: 'Kay. Punio was the first one to be in our new program: "1-of-a-kind"!!!! This program happens whenever we interview someone with a unique name. We pay the people because they increase our ratings! Punio isn't paid because he was first! We had this pay rate thing but it was to complicated. Every '1-of-a-kind' is paid 1,000$!

MM: H-H-H-H-H-How much money d-d-d-d-d-do we have r-r-r-r-r-r-right now?-?-?-?-?-?-?

Toad: 3650$! That's because Mrs.Bule paid us 1000$ for sponsoring! Mrs.Bule! 'Doing it right in front because you pay us to!' Next time we interview Piranha Plant!

MM: E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D –T-TT-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R—R-R-RANSMISSION!-!-!-!


	8. Interviewee 8: Piranha Plant

**Interview 8: Piranha Plant**

**As the audiences were getting to their seats, MM was talking to Mario and Luigi.**

Mario: So what-a do you want-a us to do-a?

MM: I want you to make a large pipe leading out of the stage so that our next interviewee Piranha Plant can get here!

Luigi: What-a do we-a get in-a return-a?

MM: Mario gets interviewed after Piranha Plant!

Luigi: But what-a do I get-a?

MM: … I thought you were just Mario's servant!

Mario: DUMB-a servant-a!

MM: Right! Dumbservant.

ML and Luigi: We are NOT Dumb!

MM and Mario: RRRRRiiiigggghhhhtttt!!!

Luigi: Oh, but! Yiu- stu-I QUIT!

**Luigi stomps out of the building. MP walks up to MM.**

MP: Who was that?

MM: Who was who? Anyway, think you can do it, Mario?

Mario: Of course-a!

**Mario goes into a random manhole and some noises can be heard from underground. In a few seconds a pipe pops out where the interviewee chair would be.**

MM to Toad: You're paying for that!

Toad: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WWWHHHHHHYYYYYY MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, why me, wh-

MM: ANYWAYY… All the interview cycle is now banished! It's too hard to keep it in check! That means Boo can leave! Also, MDK, MK, MT, and MW are all fired!

Boo: Thank you you ugly robot, you!

**Boo disappears, his soul now truly h-- wait, this is an interview show, not a story!**

MDK, MK, MT, and MW: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MMMMMMMMMM-

Mario: All-a done!!!

MM: Good!! Now take your seat in the audience!

**Mario takes a seat in seat 5. Piranha Plant pops out of the pipe. POP! Goes the Piranha Plant thatcanbiteyourheadoffandripyourarmsoffandsuckoutyourorganslikeavacuum!!!**

MM: I trust you made it here without any problems.

Piranha Plant: **-Slurp-** Oh yeah! But **–Drool-** I have this strange craving for pasta from the** –Slurp-** smell of the pipe.

Mario: A-heh, a-heh, a-heh!

MM: Okay, then! Let's get this show on a roll!

Koopa: In 50, 40, 30, 20, 10, 00!!!

MM: Hello and welcome to Mini-Mario Interviews! Today, my co-host and I interview Piranha Plant! Please give him a warm welcome!

Piranha Plant: **-Gurgle-** with some ketchup, too!

MM: …

Toad: … I'm bored!

MM: An' I can't think of any questions! Let's let callers and the audiences ask the questions! Seat 7!

PP's wife: **-Slurp-** Whatdya want for dinner tonight?

PP: **-Drool-** How 'bout the Toad family beside ya!

**PP's wife grabs the Toad family and runs off to cook them into Mush Toast, Shroom Roast, and Fried Shroom. Toad curls into a ball and sucks his thumb.**

MM: Seat 4!

Luigi: You-a suck-a, MM!

**MM pushes a random button that opens a trapdoor under Luigi's chair.**

Luigi: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWowowowowow…..!!!!!

MM: Unlike last time, that trapdoor is filled with Piranha Plants who have syrup, oil, and lotion with them!

**Mario, who was just beside the trapdoor, takes a camera and starts videotaping Luigi being Eaten in cooking ingredients to sell on Tbay.**

_**( Whenever you see this writing, it's the author. I don't really think Luigi's dumb, it's just the actions he does and his cowardness.)**_

MM: … … Our audience is stupid today! Let's go to some callers! 3 callers today!

**Toad, who stopped sucking his thumb, pressed the first light.**

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Toad: Hi, Yoshi!

Yoshi: Hawwo! Me got question! Do Prany plant color symbol anything?

_**(To Yoshi's user, Yoshi's (The Species) tongues aren't very good in speaking English. And their English vocabulary isn't good either. I'm NOT making fun!)**_

Piranha Plant: **-Slurp-** Yes! Some red mean fire, blue means thunder!

Yoshi: Oh!

MM: Yoshi! If you ask a question anytime in the future, you will be interviewed!

Yoshi: Oh, wow!!! Bweye!

The light sops blinking. Toad presses the second light.

Crystal King: Hi! I'm Crystal King!

Audience: OOOoohh!!!

Crystal King: You know Ray-kura Kura? He was just my nickname! Anyway, my question. How come your species is easily put to sleep?

Piranha Plant: **-Drool-** If you mean in the N64 version of us, then it's because of the music when Mario is near us. You know, that lullaby song?

**PP gets hit by a 4w. Don't speak of games you were in!**

Piranha Plant: **-Gurgle-** Ow!

Crystal King: So, because I asked a question as Ray-kura Kura and as myself, I need to ask 1 more question to be interviewed, right MM?

MM: Right! You're the exact opposite of me!

Toad: So, he's smart and you're stupid?

MM: You're the exact opposite of me to!

Toad: … Sure! Bye, CK!

CK: Bye!

**Second light stops blinking. Hee, hee, hee! NN stupig$**

MM: Before we get to our last caller, PP! What are your… STATS?!?

PP: **-Slurgle-** 15 HP, 9 ATTACK, 0 DEFENSE.

MM: Strong! Let's go to our last caller!

**MM pushes the third light.**

Punio: Grrrrr, it's me again, you gross Puni abusers!

MM: What's your question?

Punio: Rrrr, I have 2! 1.!: How many types of Piranha Plants are there?

PP: **-Drourp-** 2: Red/Fire and Blue/Thunder.

Punio: An' 2.!: How could you describe the taste of a robot. –Snickers-

PP:** -Drourpgle-** Quite good, actually! I want one right now!

**PP jumps out of the pipe and chases MM around the building.**

MM: AAAAHHHH!!!!!! Curse you, Punio!!!!!!!!!

Punio: Now I have gotten my revenge for you making my sister and I get tortured!

Toad: … Punio, if you ask 4 more questions, you'll become a permanent member of the audience!

Punio: 'Kay! Bye!

**Third light stops blinking. MM, MP, MY, and ML is seen running away from PP.**

Toad: Next time we interview Mario! Toaday's show was sponsored by "Macadamiea!" "Trust the Macadamiean caressment!"

PP: THE ROBOTS ARE TOO FAST! I WANT LIVING ORGANISMS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Koopa, Toad, Goomba, and most of the Audience: END TRANSMISSION!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**_(To Punio's owner, sorry about the savageness Punio's been in. The show just needed another twist. M'kay? Kay!)_**


End file.
